3 Ways Dads Can Get Closer to Their Kids This Year

In the chaos and busyness of Dad-life, it’s easy to lose sight of the most important things – our relationships with God, our spouse, and our kids. 

We know how important it is to pray regularly and make time for our wives, but how do we make the most of the limited time we have with our children? How can we strengthen our bonds with our little ones (or even our little ones who aren’t so little any more)? 

Here are three simple and essential things that we must prioritize if we want to build deeper relationships with our children:

1. Listen to them. 

Nothing builds a human bond quite like looking into another person’s eyes and giving him or her your full, undivided attention. Some distractions are difficult to control, such as your screaming toddler. However, you and I both know that we allow other far less important things to distract us from what really matters. Put your phone away, and give your kids your whole self. Turn off the television and don’t try to multitask when they are seeking your attention.

That being said, real listening is something more than just your full attention. It means developing an authentic interest in what matters most to your children. Listen to your 4 year old’s incoherent story. Listen to your teenager’s latest high school drama. Listen to your adult child’s story about his or her newest hobby.

2. Play with them. 

This might be the most important item on the list. It’s also the easiest thing to push to the bottom of your pile of priorities, because it seems like a waste of time. In fact, the best time spent with children is in leisure, and the definition of leisure is time well-wasted. A good resolution for this year might be to waste as much time with your kids as possible. 

Make it a goal to play with your kids every day. Dance with them. Play catch. Wrestle. Play make-believe and dress-up. Go golfing, play board games or cards, you name it – whether they are young or old, just find a fun way to waste time with them. 

3. Fight for them.

Jason Shanks, the President of the National Eucharistic Congress, gave a talk at the Heroic Men Leadership Summit last summer about his experience of being intubated for two weeks and nearly dying from COVID in 2020. He concluded his talk by sharing that his daughter knew he would make it after she saw a picture of him struggling, but fighting to walk again. His point was that our children don’t need us to be perfect, but they need to see us fighting, because it gives them hope. They need to know that we want to fight for them, and that they are worth fighting for.

What does this look like in daily life? Work hard. Stay on task. Make a point of strength-training and eating well. Give your children an example of discipline and self-sacrifice. Say you’re sorry when you mess up, and to paraphrase Winston Churchill, never, never, never give up!